We have done quite a few different themes and colour schemes for weddings, and each one is an exciting challenge to put together. But one wedding theme I find that I can never picture myself in: Rib Fest Wedding.
While I cannot deny the deliciousness that is ribs, wings, and assorted sauces (Florida Orange and Jack Daniel’s I am looking at you!), I can’t help but wonder – in what perfect world does this woman live in that she does not douse her dress in rib chunks and saucy drips during the entire affair?! I am condemned to wearing patterns and dark clothing at events such as these. How does this woman pull it off in an expensive, white dress who’s lace and sparkles beg the saucy chunks to become lodged and forever memorialized – passed down for generations possibly.
Not to mention when I choose to go to rib fest I can’t just look at the ribs – there lurking in the distance is often a blooming onion truck and the pricey beer tents. How does this woman do it? When I indulge in the blooming onion feat. garlic aioli, I spend the day holding everyone back at arm’s length, for their own sake more than mine. How can she spend the day sauce free, AND bad breath free. What genie bottle did she rub for this? What deal with the devil did she make to have this perfection?
Another difficult to swallow part is the stuffed pig animals and decor that hints at the fact that those delicious and saucy ribs were once adorable, stinky, smart animals. I have to pretend I don’t drive past the pig farms or factories when heading to rib fest – a plush reminder would likely make me feel guilty for a few more seconds than I can handle. My ribs could get cold in that time!
While they certainly must be a couple who knows how to live and more importantly, has great taste in food, I cannot ever imagine myself in a Ribfest wedding. I struggle enough with the late night poutine menu after a few drinks – and I still end up with a few cheese curds in my bra.
I wonder if Ribfest weddings will become a thing? I’ll admit, if they’re handing out bottles of sauces as wedding favours – I’m going!
Blog written by:
Samantha Lloyd, Wedding and Events Coordinator